Picture of neon lit up in the dark saying saying "THIS IS THE SIGN YOU'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR". Text on the left: Matthew on Money: Jesus sends out the twelve: "The Miracle Method". A satire | Matthew 10:5–15. Faith in Grey Places.

Jesus sends out the twelve: ‘The Miracle Method’ (a satire based on Matthew 5:5–15)

Happy new year!

This week, I have another short sketch, based on Matthew 10:5–15 when Jesus sends out the twelve. I imagine a conversation between Peter and Andrew and their host as the two apostles visit a town. 

Skip to the sketch

The mission of the disciples was to proclaim that the kingdom of heaven was near, and also to perform miracles in Jesus’ name. I’ve tended to think of this passage as more about mission than about money, but there are links to both topics. 

I wouldn’t suppose that Jesus’ instructions should be applied literally in our current time. However, I do find it interesting to think of the apostles from the perspective of strangers advocating some wonderful new message that will change your life. It is, sadly, a phenomenon all too common in the world of quack doctors, ponzi schemes, and online courses that will ‘reveal’ the secrets of financial independence. 

Just the other day, a friend sent me a message for an investment seminar that, I was told, would help me secure second and third income streams and get in control of my finances. My friend probably sent the message in good faith, and it said it wasn’t a get-rich-quick scheme, but it rang alarm bells. The message was still, ‘I’ve had success, you could too – I’ll make it easy for you.’ And it was still about investing in the stock markets. And I know that can have its place (pension schemes do it a lot…), but I also know that it’s easy to lose your investment, or even rack up a deficit. 

Oh, and when investing becomes a form of gambling it can be dangerously addictive.

One story I couldn’t get over is this one from the Guardian last November: How I turned $15,000 into $1.2m during the pandemic – then lost it all. The story is worth a read; at the peak of the author’s wealth he went to evening mass with his parents — and ‘was hit with a premonition’ that he would lose it. 

Anyway, this sketch explores this idea of a ‘life-changing’ message. Because let’s face it, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom of heaven when you have nothing material to show for it is pretty brave. 

And, in many ways, unusual.

Here you go. 

The Miracle Method


PREMISE: Jesus has sent out the twelve; Peter and Andrew accept the hospitality of a wealthy businessman who thinks they’re just trying to sell their con.

LENGTH: ~850 words

GENRE: Satire.


SIMON PETER:     Committed and savvy. 

ANDREW:            Passionate and earnest. 

EZRA:                   An opportunist.

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Photo by Austin Chan on Unsplash

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